


All Bets Are Off

by crossingwinter



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe – Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, TFW Hux is coming so you gotta make out to avoid him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 00:48:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossingwinter/pseuds/crossingwinter
Summary: “Fake girlfriend. What does that even mean?” Ben asks her.Rey rests a hand on his arm, feeling the muscles underneath his sleeve. “Babe,” she says, leaning close to him. “It means we pretend we’re madly in love. Think you can pull that off for your office pool?” Ben’s eyes flicker softly between each of hers and he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.





	All Bets Are Off

**Author's Note:**

  * For [merrymegtargaryen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/gifts).



> Written for my beloved [@spacedarcy](http://spacedarcy.tumblr.com)'s birthday. Which is tomorrow. But fuck it, it's Erev Megan's Birthday so I'm posting this right the fuck now.
> 
> Many thanks to [@thereminnsonata](http://thereminnsonata.tumblr.com) for betaing!

“Remind me why you haven’t quit your job yet?” Finn asks loudly and Ben glares at him. “You have more money than God. You could just quit until you find something else.”

“Because my bonus doesn’t get paid out until April, and if I can’t be happy, at least I can be richer than God.” Ben is looking at Finn dead in the eye, waiting for Finn to say it.

Finn says it.

“You know, for someone who says he’s gonna be living a more moral lifestyle, you’re sure having a hard time quitting.”

Ben’s hand tightens around the beer bottle and Rey cuts in. “Ok—that’s enough. We said we were going to play nicely.”

They both look at her, and Finn raises his glass at Ben, and Ben cheerses him with his beer bottle. They’re trying. _Lack of open hostility_ was the phrase that Dumbledore had demanded of Sirius Black and Severus Snape, and she figured that this was as good as she was going to get for the next few years for them both.

“ _It’s not on you to fix him, Rey,_ ” Finn had told her heatedly when she’d started inviting Ben to more and more nights out. Ben, she’d learned, didn’t have friends. Or at least, not anymore. Something she’d never tell Finn because she knew exactly what Finn would say about that. Worse—she knew that Finn was wholly justified in the opinion.

Finn’s right. It’s not on her to fix Ben. She’d made that clear to Ben when she’d agreed that she wasn’t going to walk out of his life. “ _You’re going to find a therapist_ ,” she’d told him firmly. “ _Because you need one. I’ve been going lately and it’s been helping me, so I can only imagine what good it would do for you._ ” As far as she knew, he saw his therapist three times a week. And she thinks (thinks) it’s helping. It’s easier to see when they’re alone—harder to see when Finn is there, watching her protectively to make sure that Captain Tantrum doesn’t get too drunk and belligerent because that’s what he does.

 _Maybe they’ll be friends one day,_ she tries not to let herself think. Because she doubts it very much. And if it’s not her job to fix Ben, it’s certainly not her job to make Ben and Finn like one another.

“Why does the First Order have its holiday party _after_ the new year?” she asks him.

“Saves them money on the venue,” Finn replies before Ben can. “And because they know people won’t have holiday conflicts and want to monopolize their lives.”

Rey glances at Ben. “What he said,” Ben agrees in a rare moment. Finn’s eyes widen in surprise. “What—it’s not wrong. None of it.”

“I know that,” Finn replies.

“So you have no excuse not to go, then,” Rose says. She doesn’t know Finn’s, Poe’s and Ben’s history, and thus is the most open to Ben. Whether or not Ben has picked up on that, she can’t say, because he’s just as cagey around Rose as he is around everyone else.

“Not that I can think of,” he says. “Unless I catch some sort of plague, or—”

“Get your ass kicked in a bar fight?”

“ _Finn_.”

“I’m trying to help.”

“Do you at least have someone to go with?” Rose asks, and Ben shakes his head.

“We can have a plus one, but I don’t have anyone to go with. I hear Hux started a pool in the office about whether or not I’m bringing someone.” He takes a sip of his beer.

“What did Hux bet on?” Poe asks.

“Obviously that I’m not bringing anyone,” Ben says. “Apparently its just Jim in Sales who said that I’d have a date—but he says that date’s a friend not a girlfriend. Phasma actually put money on me not showing up.”

“Well you can’t let Phasma win.” To everyone’s surprise, it’s Finn who says it. If there’s anyone he hates more than Ben from his time in the First Order, it’s Phasma.

“I don’t want to let any of them win, but that’s not how betting pools work,” Ben says.

“Bring it up to HR—if you’re about to peace out when your bonus happens, who gives a shit?” Poe asks.

“Or you could bring a friend with you,” Rose suggests. “Since it sounds like your colleagues are all terrible.”

Rey sees a half-mean smile play at his lips as he looks at Rose, and knows he’s biting back a “ _what friends_?” The simple fact that he’s biting it back fills her with relief. Maybe he _had_ picked up on the fact that Rose seems to like him more than Poe or Finn. Maybe his therapy really is helping. “Any takers?” he says, looking around the table.

“Like shit am I ever going back there,” Finn says at once.

“Don’t want to fight Phasma?” Ben smirks.

“I’ll fight Phasma when I’m good and ready.”

“I’ll go,” Rey says, and Ben’s eyes snap to her. “It’s not like I haven’t met some of your colleagues before. If I go as your fake girlfriend, do you think _you_ win the pool?”

Ben blinks at her, and Poe lets out an enthusiastic whoop. “That seems like the way to go.”

“Fake girlfriend. What does that even mean?” Ben asks her.

Rey rests a hand on his arm, feeling the muscles underneath his sleeve. “Babe,” she says, leaning close to him. “It means we pretend we’re madly in love. Think you can pull that off for your office pool?” Ben’s eyes flicker softly between each of hers and he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat.

“Or at least that you’re fucking,” Poe says. “Let’s be real, Rey. I don’t know if Ben can _do_ madly in love.”

“Come on,” Rey says, and then, more seriously, more earnestly, “At least go into the trenches with a friend.”

* * *

They set up a few ground rules—you need a backstory to be convincing, especially since Rey _is_ a known entity to some of Ben’s teammates.

“We’ve been hooking up for two months,” she suggests.

“Three,” Ben says. “But we’ve been exclusive for two.”

“Exclusive,” she says, grinning at him. “So does that mean boyfriend, or fuck buddy?”

“Boyfriend,” he says. “It’s going to make a much more convincing argument for if we are going to get that pool.”

“I think I should lay claim to it,” she says. “They won’t know how to say no to me.”

“Fat fucking chance,” Ben laughs. “It’s _my_ dignity they’re betting on, remember.”

“Sure thing, Captain Tantrum.”

Ben glares at her. It’s a low blow. Rey—more than anyone apart from his therapist—understands how much it hurts. Even if she also thinks he needs to learn to laugh at himself. _Something for down the road,_ she thinks to herself. _When he’s unfucked his head a little more._

“So if we’ll have been dating for two months, that means probably hand-holding, arms around waists, that sort of stuff?” she asks him.

“I guess that would be standard?” He probably didn’t mean for it to end up as a question, but Rey raises her eyebrows at him. “I’ve never brought anyone to one of these things. I’ve never had a girlfriend, ok?” The words rush out of him so defensively that Rey almost feels bad for him. _Insult to injury,_ she thinks of the pool. She reaches out and takes his hand.

“We’ll figure it out together.”

“Figuring it out together isn’t going to convince anyone we’re fucking,” he says dryly.

Which is true.

So Rey leans in and kisses him.

“What the—” he says pulling away in surprise but Rey pinches him.

“Stop that. If we’ve been fucking for three months and if we need to kiss to prove that, doing _that_ under pressure isn’t going to convince anyone.” She presses her lips to his again.

He has surprisingly soft lips, she thinks. But it’s clear he doesn’t know what to do with them at all. _Never been kissed?_ she thinks. She’d be lying to herself if she didn’t think that was a good thing. Ben Solo as she’d first met him in his pre-therapy days was _not_ boyfriend material for anyone. He was barely a functional friend now and was being force-taught empathy by a doctor who probably wasn’t being paid nearly enough. So Rey leads the kiss, tracing her tongue along his lips, sucking his lower one between her teeth, reaching a hand up to brush his long, dark hair out of his face. When she does that he makes a noise in the back of his throat and Rey pulls away for a moment.

“You ok?” she asks him. Why does she sound so breathless? It wasn’t _that_ hot a kiss. Not bad, per se, but not that hot.

“Yeah,” he says, swallowing. Then his lips are on hers again, and his hand comes to the back of her neck. He’s tracing a little circle there with his thumb—that’s good. That’s intimate. Convincing. Distracting, really, if he keeps doing it…which he does. His lips are more confident against hers now, and its his turn to draw her lip between his teeth, and she sighs, and shifts slightly and her arm moves of its own accord to snake its way under his arm and up his back, pulling him closer to her as her tongue darts between his teeth.

He inhales sharply without breaking the kiss, and lets her tongue dance over his for a moment, before she pauses and breaks the kiss, looking at him. “Tongue is tricky,” she says. “You don’t want _too_ much of it, or it’ll choke you and that’s no fun for anyone. Go on. Try.”

“Is it that obvious?” he asks her, and he’s not looking at her.

“What?”

“That I’ve never kissed anyone till now.” Yes, he’s definitely sulking.

Rey grimaces. She doesn’t want to lie to him, but she doesn’t want to hurt him either and he can be so damn sensitive sometimes. “Yeah,” she says. “It’s a bit obvious. But for what it’s worth—you seem to be picking it up pretty quickly. So let’s keep going.”

And they do.

* * *

In order to be convincing, Rey jokes that she’s going to infiltrate the First Order as Dark Rey.

Gone is the simple half-ponytail she wears on a daily basis, gone is the modest, neutral top and jeans. She’s borrowing one of Paige’s short red dresses and Paige and Rose do her hair and makeup—since she’s not one to wear makeup on a daily basis.

“Is this going to smudge?” she asks Paige as Paige dabs red onto her lips. “I have heard that it smudges.”

“Try to avoid drinking,” Paige says. “It’ll fade over the course of the night, and you can put more on. I’ll put this in your purse.”

“I don’t have a purse,” Rey says. She hates purses, and Ben has already told her he’d happily carry her phone for her.

“Well, the dress doesn’t have pockets, so if you want it, it’s going in your bra.”

Except that the dress is so tight and so low-cut that it’s a little too obvious that she’s got a tube of lipstick in her boobs, so she settles with knowing that, at some point, she’ll look in a mirror and her lips will be their regular pink again.

“Good luck,” Rose says when they deem Rey ready.

“Stand taller,” Paige tells her.

“Heels are weird,” Rey says. They make her posture strange, overarching her back so her butt pops out—and her breasts too.

“You’re fun to play dress up with,” Paige laughs and she and Rose send Rey on her way.

Ben’s waiting for her in the lobby the apartment building and his eyes bug out of his head when he sees her. She sees him give her a one-over, and can’t help but do the same for him. He’s wearing a very sharp suit—all black, with a black tie as well. The suit is cut very well for him, and she can tell immediately where and how he’s muscled. Something about the entire ensemble sends the image of him pressing her against a wall through her mind. This, she supposes is not a bad thing, given that the goal of the evening is to convince his company that they’re together.

“Hi,” she says, trying to smile. It feels weird—she’s aware of the makeup.

“Hi,” he says, trying to smile, his hands jammed into his pants pockets. He takes one out though and extends it to her. “Shall we?”

She takes his hand and laces her fingers through his as he leads her out to his car.

“Should I have worn black?” she asks him. “Is this like prom? Do we wear matching outfits?”

“You look good,” he tells her as he opens the door to his car. “It’s perfect.”

“Not too much?” she asks when he settles into the driver’s seat.

“No, not too much.”

“How am I going to stack up compared to the other ladies there?”

“I couldn’t begin to tell you,” Ben says. _He’s terse. Is he nervous?_

His hand is resting on the gearshift as he drives and Rey reaches over and rests her own hand on top of his. “It’ll be ok,” she says. “We’re in this together. I’m here with you.”

“Yup.” He sounds like he’s trying not to be frightened.

* * *

The party is in full swing by the time they make it past the coat check. Ben’s hand is on the small of her back as he steers her through the crowd towards the line to the bar. Almost everyone they pass stares at them—or pretends not to be staring at them—which puts a smirk onto Rey’s face that she thinks probably works for her whole Dark Rey persona. The line for the bar is long, and she turns to face Ben, who makes to move his hand away from her back.

“No,” she hisses at him. “Leave it there.”

So he does. He looks down at her and his face is so guarded she can’t read it at all—and he’s usually an open book. She sways to the distant sound of the music and leans against his chest for just a moment for the benefit of those standing around them. If he were Finn, he’d sway with her, take her in his arms, because she and Finn were always on a level. Ben, though…Sometimes they are, but this is not one of those times. She wants to tell him to focus on her, not on the crowd of his colleagues around them, except he already _is_ focused on her.

She reaches up and brushes his hair out of his face and he closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, he looks determined.

The line moves forward, and he asks, “So, what was your holiday party like?”

“Nothing like this,” Rey says. It’s the truth. Luke had taken her and some of the caretakers out for beer and given them each a gift card to Amazon and told them to use it wisely. It was as pleasant an evening as Rey could imagine, given that most of the caretakers weren’t overly fond of her. She told Ben about it, and by the time she was done he was half-smiling.

“Why aren’t they fond of you?”

“I…break things.”

His eyebrows shoot up his face. “You break things.”

“Accidentally.”

“On a historical Jedi site? How hasn’t he fired you?”

“I’m special?” Rey suggests, and to her complete surprise, Ben’s laughing.

“You’re something else is what you are.”

The laughter is good, Rey thinks, because some of the people in line near them have noticed. There’s one of them staring with his mouth open. Clearly Ben doesn’t laugh at work. But, most importantly, he doesn’t look edgy nervous when he’s looking down at her and his hand is still at the small of her back and that feels weirdly right.

“What do we do now?” he asks her when they have their drinks.

“We mingle?” she suggests. She can’t really imagine Ben mingling. He doesn’t have a casual bone in his body and probably can’t small talk to save his life. “Unless you think there’s someone we should find and—”

“Ren? Is that you?” comes a voice and a man with a mustache appears.

“TK-603,” Ben says smoothly. _The First Order likes to give code names,_ she remembers suddenly. FN-2187 had been Finn’s. He’d hated it. So Ben must be Ren. Rey looks up at him, keeping her face impassive, and he’s locked eyes with the man now standing with the two of them.

“And who’s this charming young lady you have with you?” TK-603 asks, and Rey decides that Dark Rey would not appreciate being called a ‘charming young lady’ anymore than actual Rey would, so she pulls a haughty expression onto her face.

“This is my girlfriend, Rey,” Ben says so smoothly that it’s almost hard to believe that it’s a lie.

“Girlfriend?” Terex looks between them, seeming amused by that piece of information. “Good god, why? You can do so much better than this one,” he says, jerking his hand towards Ben.

“I don’t know about that,” Rey says and she looks up at Ben, who’s raising his drink to his lips. “He’s pretty good with his hands, this one.”

To Ben’s credit, he doesn’t choke on his drink, but she does feel his fingers stiffen at the small of her back. She leans into his side for added effect and gives TK-603 a hard smile. “Not sure if anyone’s really good enough for me, but Ben does just fine.”

“Thanks, babe,” he says dryly. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek, letting her lips linger against his skin for added effect. His hand has gone from the small of her back to wrap around her hip, dangling lazily there. His arm makes her feel warm, which is good because the dress she’s wearing is thin and doesn’t cover too much. Indeed, she likes the way the fabric of his jacket feels against the bare stretch of her back.

“Well, welcome to the best party you’ll ever get to go to and enjoy the free booze,” TK-603 says, clearly unsure what else to say and he goes off.

When he’s out of earshot, Rey leans into Ben and says, “Ren?”

“Kylo Ren,” he explains. “I used to really like the name. Now it’s a bit…”

“Tacky?” Rey suggests.

“I guess,” he shrugs. “They’re not big on humanization in the First Order. I only know a few people whose code names don’t involve numbers and letters.”

“You, Hux, Phasma?” Rey asks, rattling off the only three people for whom she knew this to be true.

“Snoke,” Ben adds.

“God, does he come to these things?” She hadn’t thought to ask when they were doing prep. She’d been too preoccupied with the improvements Ben was making as a kisser.

“Naturally,” Ben says. “But let’s avoid him. If there’s one person you don’t need to see, it’s Snoke.”

“Isn’t he your boss? Aren’t you supposed to at least rub shoulders with him? I can handle Snoke.”

“It’s not a matter of if you can handle Snoke,” Ben begins, but he cuts himself off because two women are approaching them now and this time, he greets them first. “AK-918, TN-4296.”

“Ren,” says the first one, who is giving Ben a once over in a way that makes Rey decide that Dark Rey is possessive. She wraps her own arm around Ben’s waist and gives the girl a haughty expression. “Who’s your lady?”

“Rey,” Rey says by way of introduction. “Which one were you?”

“I’m Teckla,” she says. “And this is Ainax. I’m sure all the code names get confusing from the outside looking in.”

“I’m bad with names, so I’m sure I’ll forget Teckla and Ainax too,” Rey says, not caring how rude she sounds. She can feel Ben breathing because of how closely they’re standing and his ribs move as he makes an almost inaudible snort of amusement.

Teckla and Ainax share a look, and turn their attention back to Ben. “There was a rumor you wouldn’t be coming tonight,” said Ainax. “Glad to see it was false.”

“Wishful thinking on Hux’s part, I’m sure,” Ben says and Rey bites the inside of her cheek because she’d managed to perfectly capture Ben’s own haughty tone when she’d been speaking. She can see Teckla and Ainax notice it too. “He wants to win the pool. I take it you bet that I’d show up?”

They both blink at him nervously.

“What?” Teckla asks, but she’s not a good liar.

“You know,” Ben says coolly, and in that moment Rey understands more clearly than she ever has before _why_ Finn is so allergic to him. If this is how he talks to people at work… “The pool where the entire office was betting to see if I’d show up. And in what capacity.”

Neither girl knows what to say and Ben takes another sip of his drink, finishing it and placing it on one of the standing tables nearby, then steers Rey away without another word, shouldering his way through the crowd.

“I can’t tell if you’re having fun or not,” she says to him when they reach another table on the other side of the space. Rey sets her drink down and reaches her hands up to smooth out the lapels of his jacket, letting her hands linger on his chest because she can see more people staring at them.

“I could say the same of you,” he says, looking down at her with serious eyes.

“I’m fine,” she says shrugging. “I just can’t tell if you are.”

“I can handle them,” he says. “I handle them every day. I just want to make sure you’re not in over your head.”

“Why would I be in over my head?” He doesn’t answer and she rolls her eyes. “I can handle myself. I really can. Now I’m going to kiss you because Hux is coming up behind you.” So she does, leaning up as close to him as she can—the problem with heels is she’s already on the tips of her toes—and he bends his head obligingly to meet her. The kiss is rougher than anything they’d practiced, and she can taste the bourbon on his tongue as it slips into her mouth, but she doesn’t mind that particularly because when he curls his tongue around hers for just a moment, her heart jerks erratically. She’d really done a good job teaching him how to do this. Or maybe he just had an instinct of what she wanted. Regardless, she loses herself more than she intends to in the kiss and feels a small bit of aching yearning when he pulls away and nudges his forehead with hers ever so briefly.

A good additional touch, she thinks, in order to distract herself from the way she wishes she were still kissing him. She knows she shouldn’t want to—Ben’s…a mess emotionally (“A raging trash fire of a human being,” are Finn’s words on the subject) for all they’re friends. And even being friends with benefits or something would only end badly, she did not doubt. But still, the way his lips feel against hers, and the way his eyes look at her so seriously…

Ben glances around.

“I don’t see Hux.”

“Maybe he didn’t want to interrupt?” Rey says, letting Ben look in one direction while she looked in another.

“This is possibly the best tactic I’ve ever come up with to not talk to Hux.”

“That _you_ came up with?” Rey asks, arching an eyebrow.

“That you came up with,” he corrects himself. “Do you want to come work here until I get my bonus paid out? You can just come and kiss me every time Hux is nearby and it’ll drive him away.”

“Tempting,” Rey says. “But I don’t much fancy becoming R-9874. Unless you can promise me something fancy like you got. Reyno Ren?”

“Shut up,” he grouses.

“It’s a stupid name.” He doesn’t say anything. “You didn’t pick it, did you?” He gives her a look, and Rey shakes her head disbelievingly. “You have such a wonderful name, and you went with _Kylo Ren_?”

“It was that or BS-6969.”

Rey chokes.

“Please say you’re kidding.”

“I wish I were,” he says seriously, his expression looking pained at the memory. “I _think_ they were just being disrespectful shits when they proposed it, but you can’t really tell.”

“A retaliation to Captain Tantrum?”

“Probably.” There’s a bite to his voice. He really didn’t like talking about this.

“Ok. Well. Kylo Ren is probably slightly better than BS-6969. If only slightly.”

“Hux is coming again.”

And his lips are on hers again, and this time she reaches a hand up to touch his cheek, running her fingers along the scar there. His lips grow more gentle at the touch of her fingers against his skin, and she feels his fingertips on her hips twitch in tiny circles too that sends goosebumps across her back. Without really thinking about it, she sighs into his lips, then feels herself blushing because did she really just do that? She breaks the kiss and bumps her nose against his.

“Well, well, well,” comes a startlingly familiar voice and despite herself, Rey turns around.

Phasma’s tall—taller even than Ben. And she’s wearing heels. Her icy blue gaze and her icy blonde hair are, naturally, matched with an icy silver dress. She gives Rey a gaze. “I didn’t know you were interested in associate leavings, Ren.”

“I was never with Finn,” Rey says hotly as Ben stiffens behind her. _And I’m not with Ben,_ she thinks. No matter how good it feels when he kisses her. No matter how comforting it is to have his hand on her hip as she’s being insulted to her face by the boss who’d made Finn’s life hell.

“That’s not what I seem to remember.”

“You spend a lot of time remembering the personal lives of your underlings?” Ben asks coolly. “Any particular reason you’re invested?”

Phasma laughs. “Going to report me to HR? You? Of all people?”

 _What does that mean,_ Rey wonders, but she can guess. _Captain Tantrum._

“Oh, you and I both know I can make your life more miserable than HR can.”

Phasma raises her eyebrows. “It must be love,” she says sardonically, giving him half a shrug. “Well, here’s hoping you don’t go the way of FN-2187, or else the First Order will really go to the dogs.” She turned on her heel and marched away.

Ben watches her go, and there is that anger in his eyes again. He’s breathing heavily, and Rey takes his hand. He looks down at it, staring at their intertwined fingers.

“She’s taking her cues from Hux,” he says quietly. “And I think he’s taking his cues from Snoke. I think they’re circling around me. They’re sharks, and they can smell the blood in the water.”

“That you’re going to be quitting?” Rey asks.

“That I hate them,” he mutters. “I don’t really see the point of pretending. I’ve never been good at it.”

“Seem to be doing ok tonight,” Rey says, leaning into him and she sees the way his face shifts ever so slightly, the way he swallows when he looks down at her. _Shit_ _._

* * *

“So—I have to ask. You’re here with Ren, right? I mean—Ben Solo,” says one of the girls in the restroom as Rey is washing her hands. Rey looks up and arches her eyebrows in the mirror. The lipstick that Paige had painted on her has faded away, and her lips are a bit chapped because she and Ben had made out twice more when Hux had done his circuits past them. Ben had looked positively gleeful after the last time that he’d seen the back of Hux—something she’d never thought she’d seen. Better that glee than the soft way he looked at her between conversations with his colleagues who were all sizing the two of them up.

“Yes,” Rey says with a huff. “I am here with Ben.” She dries her hands and makes for the door. The woman does not get the picture and follows her out, stammering.

“It’s just that a lot of people are wondering where you came from. Some have even said he might have paid…you…” her voice trails away and Rey almost feels sorry for the poor woman because Ben’s standing there waiting between the women’s room and the men’s room for Rey to come out and he definitely heard the comment, based on the way he’s now glowering at the woman on Rey’s tail.

Rey turns to the woman and takes pity on her. “I could have made money off this date?” she asks sweetly, before turning to Ben. His jaw is so very stiff and his eyes are blazing as he watches her. “You’re stiffing me, Solo.”

His lips are so full when they twitch and she can’t tell if he’s going to laugh or to shout (which means she’s sure the woman at her side is positively terrified). He takes a deep breath and says dryly, “I’ll stiff you later, sweetheart. I promise.”

“You promise?” Rey manages to choke out in surprise, because she had not been expecting him to make a joke like _that._ She steps towards him, taking his hand. He squeezes it a little too tightly.

“I just said I promised.”

She leads him away, and she can feel his hand trembling in hers and when she looks at him, his expression is more livid than she’s seen it in a while.

“Stay calm,” she warns under her breath. “Focus on me. That’s why I’m here.”

“They make it wildly hard,” he says. “Every fucking direction I turn, someone’s down my neck. It makes it impossible to breathe. This was a mistake. One big fucking mistake. I shouldn’t have come. I shouldn’t have—”

They’ve reached the door to the ballroom again, but Rey tugs him down the hall a little ways instead. She pulls him to face her and takes his other hand.

“Is it worth the bonus?” she asks him. “Because if it’s not, we can just leave.”

“They’re humiliating me,” he says. “And it’s killing me. I know it shouldn’t—that they’re assholes. But I’m an asshole too, and it…it gets to me, ok? I’m not as good a person as I should be and I want to make them pay for it.”

Rey squeezes his hands. “You’ve put in your appearance,” she points out. “We can leave if you like.”

“No, it’s not that late. It’ll be clear I’m leaving with my tail between my legs,” he mutters.

“Or that you’ve decided to get a room with the hot thing in a red dress you brought with you.”

“Yeah, the one they all think I’m paying for.” His voice is dripping with bitterness and suddenly he’s looking away from her, down the hall. “I can’t believe that they fucking asked you that. I mean, I can. We don’t value people here. But I hate that that extends to you. It shouldn’t. You—” he cuts himself off, though. His nostrils flare, and his hair has flopped into his face again.

Rey reaches up and brushes it out of his eyes and his gaze snaps back to her and the intensity of it almost takes her breath away. _Get him through the night. If this is still there when we’re done…well, you’ll figure it out then._

“If it’s any consolation,” Rey whispers to him, “I find that I don’t care. They’re talking about Dark Rey, not Rey.”

“I don’t see Dark Rey, or Light Rey. Just you.”

She wants to kiss him, or kiss his cheek, or hold him, but she settles for squeezing his hand again. “And I’ve got you,” she says. “I promise. Just focus on me. They aren’t worth getting angry about.”

His lips twitch towards a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “That’s what my therapist would say.”

“You should listen to your therapist.”

“I’ll try.” He swallows, and licks his lips. “Rey,” he begins to say, but whatever he was going to say dies on his lips.

“What?” she asks, but he shakes his head.

“Let’s go back inside.”

“You’re ready?”

“No, but I see no reason why that should stop me.”

“Of course not,” Rey mutters under her breath as his hand finds the small of her back again and he steers her back into the party.

The first person they clap eyes on as they pass through the door is Hux, and Rey is sure that it’s too late to just start kissing Ben and make it look organic.

“Ahh, Ren,” Hux says, a smirk crossing his face. “Phasma did say you were here.”

“Hux,” Ben says and there’s an almost amused tone to his voice and Rey’s sure that he’s thinking of how Hux had definitely tried to talk to them four times already, and how they’d managed to thwart him. “Enjoying the party?”

“Oh it’s…less interesting than last year, I must say. More rabble.”

“Have we had gatecrashers, or are you just angry that people brought dates and you didn’t?” Ben asks. “This is Rey, by the way. I can’t remember if you’ve—”

“Yes, we’ve met,” Hux says in a clipped tone. “And I must say, Ren, I’m surprised you brought her here.”

“That so.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question, and Rey feels his fingers tighten against her back. She leans into his side and wraps an arm around his waist. _Focus on me,_ she thinks at him. _Come on, Ben. I’m your way through this. Come_ on.

“Well, her or anyone. You never struck me as the type to…date. Not much the sort of personality that the fairer sex might appreciate, I’d think.” He gives Rey a sneer.

“Because you’re _such_ a charmer,” Rey says, rolling her eyes and the smirk on Hux’s face slides off.

“At least I can control my temper,” Hux says angrily. “Ren’s caused a little too much property damage over the years. Though I suppose that uncontrolled fits of violence might be attractive to someone of your…background.”

Rey feels Ben shaking with anger next to her again and it’s her turn for her fingers to tighten around his waist. “I’ll take honest anger over preening pomposity any day. And what must it say about you that you’re trying to pick a fight at a holiday party? Bitter about having lost the pool?”

Hux, if it’s possible given how pale he is, blanches. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t? I hear that you’re the one that started it,” Ben said. “Do I win if I brought a girlfriend when most people were betting I wouldn’t come? Is that how this works?”

“I—” Hux says and he clears his throat. “If no one else bet on that, then yes.”

“So when are you going through the pool?” Rey asks. “We want to be sure to be there.” And, because they hadn’t been able to avoid Hux by making out, she reaches up and pulls Ben’s lips down to hers again.

She means for it to be a quick kiss, a peck. But he deepens it almost immediately and she keeps her hand on his neck as her tongue finds his. By the time they break apart, Hux is gone.

“Oh good,” she whispers into Ben’s lips. “It still works.”

“Thanks,” he says squeezing her again.

“I’m here for you,” she says. “Always.”

His eyes are so unbelievably soft. She can’t stop staring at them. She’s used to them being full of anger, or haughtiness, or disdain. She’s seen them brimming with intensity as he argues, or as he tries to convince someone of something. But soft? Soft is new, and it’s a good look on him.

 _Don’t do this,_ she thinks in Finn’s voice. _He’s a human trash fire._

“I keep…” he says, then clears his throat, “I keep wanting to step in and protect you, but you seem to have it.”

“I’m here to protect _you_ , remember? Blood in the water, and sharks circling you and all that?”

“Yeah, but you’re the one good thing that’s happened to me, and this place chews everything up and spits it out.” He sounded oddly frightened. _Is this what happened to you?_ she wants to ask. But she already knows it is.

And before she can stop herself, she pulls his lips down to hers again and kisses him because she wants to. Because he’s frightened, and because she’s his goddamn shield—the only person in this room who calls him Ben and not _Kylo Ren,_ who sees him for all of who he is and not just the mask he wears to get the job done _._ His lips are so sweet against hers.

When she pulls away, his eyes are still so damn soft.

“Kylo Ren,” comes a voice and she watches him blanch as his head snaps forward. “And…I don’t believe we’ve met.”

The man is dressed very lavishly in a gold embroidered jacket. His face is heavily scarred and he is bald. Despite his apparent age, he stands tall—taller even than Ben.

“I’m Rey,” she says, looking up at Ben.

Ben isn’t looking at her. His eyes are on the man in front of him.

“Rey,” the man says and there is something about his voice. It is smooth like a good glass of whiskey. “Snoke.” He extends a hand to her and Rey shakes it. The skin of his palm is cold and clammy and it’s all she can do not to wipe her hand on Paige’s dress. “So. You’re the reason Solo’s going to be leaving us, are you? Get that look off your face—I know it’s coming Kylo. Once the spring bonuses are paid out you’ll be out of here. I’ve seen that conflict in your heart for the past few months. And now it makes sense.” Snoke turns his pale eyes back to Rey, and there’s something about his gaze that makes her square her shoulders.

“Ben can make his own decisions,” she says firmly. “I support him, regardless of what he chooses.”

“So if I can convince him to stay on, you’ll be a happy, supportive girlfriend?” Snoke asks and he sounds like he’s laughing. “You think my company is evil, after all, and I’m sure that extends to those who work here. Even your _Ben Solo_.” How did the man make Ben’s name sound like an insult. _How can Ben work for him?_

She finds she can’t look at Ben. She can only look at Snoke, who’s smiling at her in a way that makes her feel angry, aggressive—oddly violent. _Is this why Ben is violent?_ How long has he been working for Snoke?

“You can try to convince him,” Rey says. “But I think you underestimate him.”

“And his capacity to make _good choices_?” Snoke laughs. “Not the Kylo Ren I know. Perhaps you see him in a different…light.” _Why is he talking about his employees like this, in front of his employees, at his company’s holiday party?_ Rey can’t help but wonder. Even the caretakers had kept their judgement of her to themselves at that bar Luke had taken them all to.

“Perhaps I do,” Rey says firmly. “Perhaps I have every confidence in him, just as you have none.”

“Oh, I have confidence in him,” Snoke says. “I know him better than you ever will. I know how he works. I know his mind. I know his heart.”

“Do you?” Rey asks. She turns to look at Ben and sees that Ben is watching her. His eyes are defensive again, and his lips are drawn together tightly. _Is he afraid of Snoke?_ She wonders. Then she remembers his words from earlier. _Or is he afraid for me, but I haven’t let him step in to protect me?_ For Hux, maybe, it’s one thing. But if he is truly afraid of Snoke…

“But we shall see,” Snoke says simply. And he’s gone without another word. Rey reaches for Ben’s hand but he’s gone, shouldering his way through the crowd towards the exit of the ballroom.

Rey follows him as fast as she can—which is not fast enough, given the ridiculous shoes she’s wearing, which were probably designed to keep women from moving quickly, and the fact that the crowd closes behind him after he’s edged his way through.

He turns, though, when he reaches the end of the ballroom and makes his way along the edge to the patio—which is freezing because it’s January.

There are a few smokers out there when Rey reaches him, resting his hands on the railing and looking out into the darkness. It’s _cold_ , and Paige’s dress is not exactly substantial in a way that was designed for nighttime winter outings and Rey’s teeth are chattering before she even makes it to him.

“Ben,” she says quietly to him and he almost jumps out of his skin—as though he hadn’t been expecting her to follow him.

“You’re about to fucking freeze,” he says and he sheds his jacket and wraps it around her shoulders. Immediately she feels warmer. The jacket is lined with some soft fabric and it smells distractingly like him.

She wraps her arms around him as he stands there, and she feels his arms come to wrap around her too. “He’s an awful man,” she says.

“Yeah, no shit,” Ben says. “I’ve spent the past ten years trying to impress him. No wonder I go to therapy three times a week. Hey,” Ben raises his voice and Rey turns around to look at the three smokers who are huddled by the door. “Can you finish up and give us some space, please?” He sounds like such a brat saying it that Rey almost can’t believe it when all three smokers drop their cigarettes to the ground and stamp on them and hurry back inside.

“You’ll be gone soon,” Rey says. “In a few months, you’ll be gone.”

“Sooner than that,” Ben says and Rey cocks her head, looking at him. “Look I…Snoke’s right.”

“He’s not,” Rey says fiercely.

“Let me finish, will you? I’m terrible at decision making. Just bad at it. That includes saying I’ll stay in this shit job for more than another second just for what…more money?” He lets out a bitter laugh. “Spending time with colleagues who hate me, and who think I paid you to be here so I didn’t have to come alone…it’s not worth it. You’ve had more courage tonight than I’ve had and I’m just…done. I’m tired. I’m not who I want to be.”

“Who do you want to be?” Rey asks Ben.

“Someone who isn’t afraid to tell you that I’ve meant every kiss tonight. That I was telling the truth when I said I’m bad at pretending. And I…” He swallows. “I don’t even know the point of saying that I want to be with you, because you shouldn’t want to be with me. But I still find myself standing here wanting you, wanting to let the past die and just…try to be myself. If I can remember who he is.”

“That’s what the therapy is for,” Rey tells him.

“Yes, that’s what the therapy is for,” Ben agrees, and his eyes are guarded again. He looks so, painfully nervous. _If I’m his first kiss, I’m definitely the first girl he’s confessed…is this a love confession?_ She doesn’t know.

All she knows is that she can see him starting to shiver so she reaches up and wraps her arms around his neck and pulls his lips down to hers again and when she kisses him, she feels everything passing from his lips to hers—longing, need, fear, greed, hope…

She breaks the kiss and whispers into his lips. “Let’s go get the money from that pool and get the fuck out of here.”

* * *

“Might not be worth as much as your bonus, but it sure smacks of victory,” Rey teases as they count the cash out. There’s a _lot_ of money on Ben’s bed. Like more than Rey probably makes in a year. She’s trying to play it cool.

God, the First Order is full of rich fucking assholes.

“Oh, it’s a significantly sweeter victory,” Ben says. He’s standing over her, typing on his phone, and he turns it to face her so she can read the email he just sent.

_Hi. I quit. Not coming in to work on Monday. Ben Solo._

“How do you feel?” she asks him when she looks up from his phone.

Ben takes a deep breath. “Terrified.”

She gets to her knees and pulls his lips down to meet hers. “You’re brave,” she whispers to him.

“Does bravery mean being petrified?”

“Only time it happens,” Rey says. “The rest is just stupidity and impulse.”

“I’ve got that in spades,” Ben says dryly. “The fear…the fear’s new.” He kisses her again, and there’s a desperation to it, his hands coming to cup her chin, to hold her hair.

“The fear’s what makes you human,” she tells him, caressing his cheek with her thumb. She looks sideways at the cash strewn across his bed. “We need to move this, because you need to get on this bed with me, and you don’t work for the First Order anymore, so whatever we’re about to do _can’t_ happen in a pile of cash without making me want to vomit.”

“And what are we about to do?” Ben asks. He’s trying to sound casual—so very casual, the height of a man who’s never had sex before trying to work out if he’s about to have sex.

“Nothing if this money doesn’t get off the bed.”

So they move it to his desk by the window doing their best to put it in neat piles. Ben looks at her, then raises a hand to take a few strands of his hair and rub them between his fingers. His eyes are soft again when he looks at her, and Rey stands on her tiptoes—Paige’s shoes have long been discarded—to kiss him. “But what are we about to do?” he asks her again.

“What do you want?” Rey says gently.

Ben swallows.

Then, he says, “You.”

By way of an answer, Rey reaches up behind her and pulls at the zipper of the little red dress she’s wearing, and gone is the last vestige of Dark Rey as the red fabric pools at her feet, leaving her in just her bra and underwear. Neither of them is particularly sexy—she’d _definitely_ not planned on this happening tonight. But if Ben cares, he certainly doesn’t let that on. His hands are trembling as he rests them on the bared skin of her hips, his breath hitches when she kisses him again, and begins, slowly, to walk him back towards his bed.

He sits down on it and looks up at her and there’s wonder in his eyes as she helps him loosen his tie and unbutton the buttons of his shirt. She bends to kiss him again as he slides it off his arms, and then tugs his undershirt loose from his belt, tugging it up and over his head, revealing a fucking eight pack. She looks down at him, looks at the way his pants are beginning to tent, looks at his rippling muscles, looks at his tender eyes. And she bends down and kisses his cheek, right along the scar that curls its way down to his chest. She presses kisses along it until she’s passed his neck, then gently pushes him back so he’s lying down on the bed and kisses her way across his chest. He is breathing heavily, and his hands are clenched in the bedding, and Rey wonders if it will be too much to straddle his hips or not. He’s being remarkably uncommunicative, but he probably doesn’t know any better.

It’s as though he’d read her mind, as though he’d heard her thoughts, because he turns onto his side so he’s facing her and pulls her lips back to his. He rubs his thumb across her cheek while he sends the other hand down her back until it’s hovering over her ass. It hovers there for a moment, then he grabs it, and pulls her hips against his so that they are lying there, groin to groin. She can feel just how hard he is through his pants and he’s the opposite of small—which sends a jolt of anticipation right to her stomach. She grinds into his hip, relishing how firmly his hand is holding her ass. Then she throws her leg over his hip, pulling herself closer to him even as his tongue delves into her mouth, kissing her with an intensity that made her burn.

Ben makes her burn, she realizes as he breathes himself into her. Ben makes her feel alive in a way that she didn’t now how to explain, and certainly had never anticipated. His lips against hers, his chest against hers, his groin against hers—everything was enough to make her lungs do their job at double speed because how else could they keep up with her beating heart?

Rey rolls him onto his back and straddles him. She sits up for a moment and sheds her bra, smirking at the way his eyes drop to her tits. Tentatively, he reaches up a hand and palms her left one, his eyes searching hers for permission. _Ben Solo’s never kissed a girl, never touched a breast, never done anything…_ But it’s the nervousness in his eyes she can’t let go of. _I’m the one who’s mostly naked, but his soul is bared in his eyes._

Bared, and frightened. She reaches down and finds his other hand and brings it to her other breast and lets herself sigh as he twists her nipples lightly between his fingers. She rocks her hips against his erection, and hears his breath catch in his throat. His eyes are back on hers now, and he’s got dark eyes to begin with, but his pupils are so very dilated right now that they’re almost black in this light. His lips are chapped from all the times she’s kissed him tonight.

She leans herself forward again and his hands find their way back to her hips, holding her over his cock as she rocks forward, rubbing her chest against his as she grinds into him. She can feel him with her whole chest, can feel her nipples brushing against his skin, the tender undersides of her tits catching on his muscles, her stomach against his stomach and they’re both breathing hard because everything about them is rubbing against one another, breasts and chest, stomach and lips, cock and cunt…

She buries her lips in his neck, buries her fingers in his hair, letting herself fall into the rhythm of their bodies moving against one another until she feels him loop a finger along the inside of her underpants and pull them aside. He pets her glossy flesh as though it were an animal—gentle circular strokes over her dripping folds. She is so damn _slick_ , probably has been for a good portion of the night, truth be told, and she almost purrs as he rubs her. The gesture of his stroke feels good for what it is—even if he’s not rubbing in quite the right places.

“A little higher,” she whispers into his neck.

“Like that?”

“A little more. Yes, that’s it.” She sighs and kisses his chin and rocks her cunt into his hands. He’s starting to probe more, his fingers slipping deeper and deeper against her moist flesh until he definitely finds her opening and slides a finger inside. Rey keeps rubbing herself against his chest, and presses herself onto his hand. He’s kissing her cheek, her ear, and Rey reaches a hand down and fumbles at his belt, smiling into his neck when the presence of her hand presses his wrist into her clit. She rubs her clit against him as she unzips his pants, and as she reaches down into his boxers he slips his thumb up along her folds to that bundle of nerves she’s pressing into his forearm.

“Fuck, Ben,” she moans as he thumbs her, and he rocks his own hips up into her reaching hand. His cock is hot and thick in her hand, and she pulls him loose and pumps him several times. Her gesture is lazy, not even a little bit matching the urgency with which she’s been grinding into his hand, and he slows his own ministrations to match hers. She lifts her head slightly and finds his gaze again.

His eyes are bright as he looks at her, and her lips find his again, pulling that full lower lip between her two and sucking on it. She pumps at his dick twice, watching as his eyelids flutter at the motion, his lips slightly parted, his cheeks flushed. Then she lifts her slit away from his hand and presses the tip of him against her—not enough to really be on him, but enough that he opens his eyes again and the look on his face is full of such pained anticipation that melts into ecstasy as she sinks onto him, taking him in to the hilt.

He moans, and bites his lip, and she can tell he’s trying not to cum, so she stays as still as she can to let him try and recover himself. She presses a kiss to his cheek, but other than that waits until his breathing has steadied. He begins to roll his hips underneath her, and she rolls hers right back against his.

They hadn’t danced that night at the party. Ben had shown no interest in it, and Rey had been following his lead. But they dance now, their hips in perfect motion together, dancing to the rhythm and melody of their breathing, of their moans when Ben begins to push into her harder, and faster, when his lips find her throat, when he turns her over so she’s on her back and thrusts into her with abandon. The soundtrack is the sound of their slapping skin, of sound of her crying out his name when his cock hits her cervix, the sound of him groaning into her as he goes faster and faster, the way their breath gets shallower and shallower as they lose all sense of reality, of the world beyond the two of them, connected to the core.

Afterwards, they lie there together, staring at the ceiling. Rey finds Ben’s hand and squeezes it, then curls onto her side and buries her face against his chest. She peeks up at his face and finds him watching her, and his eyes are overbright.

“You’re earthshattering,” he whispers to her, pulling her close to her chest. Rey doesn’t know what to say to that, because his tone is a little too serious for the tongue-in-cheek response that floats to her mind. So instead, she kisses his chest, and looks up at him.

“I try to be,” she hears herself say.

She sees Ben swallow. Then he smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, I have a [Reylo/Star Wars Tumblr](http://galacticprideandprejudice.tumblr.com). Come say hi!


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